Swipe Right on Your Future: A Fun Approach to Finding the Perfect Mentor 

Picture this: it’s girls’ night. You’ve played all the games, enjoyed some wine and dinner, and now you’re sitting around scrolling through your phones. Someone suggests, “Let’s go through my dating app,” and another chimes in, “Let’s display it on the TV!” For the next few hours, you all swipe on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/Farmers Only, critiquing profiles and picking out flaws, all in the hopes of landing on the perfect partner. I’ve done this with my friends many times—it’s a fun way to pass the time.

But what if you could approach finding a mentor in the same way? Imagine swiping left and right, evaluating their profiles to see who the best fit for your journey might be. While there’s no app for that, you can certainly navigate the process in real life.

Finding Your Perfect Match

Common interests and similarities help build a strong foundation. Look for similarities in background, hobbies, and lifestyle. Aim to find a connection that goes beyond simply saying, “I like this field, and you’re a master of it.” A mentor is someone you admire—someone whose career or lifestyle reflects the goals you aspire to achieve. They represent the future version of yourself, even if that future feels distant. By understanding their journey, you can better connect the dots between where you are now and where you want to be.

You’re the Prize, Not Just the Pick!

When I arrive for a first date, I remind myself that I’m the prize, not just the pick. I hope the other person isn’t a creep and that they’ll meet my expectations. This mindset is crucial because it gives me the confidence to voice my wants, dreams, and needs without hesitation. It’s all about feeling comfortable and exploring whether there’s a genuine connection.

Remember, you are just as much of a prize as your potential mentor. While they may have accomplished amazing projects, secured significant funding, and earned respect in their field, they couldn’t have achieved that success without their team. You are a valuable asset in this process.

Make Your Goals Known

Entering any relationship with honesty, open communication, and an understanding that it’s a journey of growth will ease your mind and help you choose the right partner. Recognizing that both parties can evolve throughout the process allows for a more authentic connection and better decision-making. Tell your mentor what brought you here and what you hope to get out of it.

They’ll appreciate your honesty and might be able to guide you toward opportunities you never thought of. If you don’t have a specific goal yet, be open about that as well. Share your interests in areas like X, Y, and Z, and express your desire to explore opportunities for growth and development in these fields. It’s perfectly okay not to have everything figured out; knowledge often comes from experience.

Ask Questions, Ask All the Questions!

I’m naturally inquisitive now, but there was a time in my life when I wasn’t, and that led me to commit to things without having all the information. Now, I believe in questioning everything. If a question comes to mind, find a way to ask it or bookmark it for when the time is right.

Remember, this person is here to engage with you. Don’t hesitate to ask questions—it’s essential for your understanding and growth. You might ask your mentor: “What role will you take on as my PI/mentor? How will you serve as a resource for me? What are your expectations of me, and how will they be measured? What is your work ethic like, and how much time do your students typically spend on research each day or week?”

 While these questions may feel direct, they are important. You can also frame them more conversationally, such as, “If I were to join your lab or be part of your team, what would our mentor-mentee relationship look like?” This approach invites a more open-ended discussion.

Finding the “One” Takes Time

Ultimately, finding the right mentor is a trial-and-error experience—just like dating. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Sometimes, you’ll need to go through several less-than-ideal experiences before you find the right match. Patience and perseverance are essential, not just in the search for love, but also in life and in finding the right mentor. Shoot Your Shot!

My best advice is to shoot your shot! Send a message on LinkedIn, and if you don’t know what to say, use AI to help craft it. The worst-case scenario is you get ghosted—no one is going to just message “no,” as that would be a bit weird. Platforms like CareerSpring.org connect you with mentors in your field of interest.

These mentorship relationships serve as steppingstones to your future. You need a mentor who will help you build those stairs with care and attention—someone who is approachable, professional, and ready to actively listen and problem-solve. So, the next time you’re scrolling through LinkedIn, don’t hesitate—reach out to someone who inspires you. Ask your questions and embrace the process. You never know—you might just find the perfect match that propels you toward your dreams!